The past two weeks have been a new kind of hell for me. I cannot begin to explain how much I loathe the car dealership near my house. It is unbelievable. But the story can't start here. It has to start at the beginning of my driving career for you all to understand that I have the shittiest luck known to man.
My first car was an '05 Ford Mustang. I loved it more than anything. Two weeks after I got my license I was in a car accident with a cop. A fucking cop.
Two months later: I was in an accident with a Toyota.
Three months later: A school bus pulled out in front of me. I ran up under the back end going 50 miles an hour, totaling my car.
Then I got a '97 4-Runner. I backed into a pipe, blowing off my rear tire.
Two weeks later I was in the drive thru at Wendy's and my car started squealing and smoking. A belt had fallen off in my engine, ending my air conditioning forever. This occurred on what had to be the busiest day that Wendy's has ever had. There was probably 50 faces plastered to the window watching my car blow out smoke.
I began college. My mom let me drive her Taurus because it had better gas mileage. I still wanted my 4-Runner and was planning on driving it once I returned home. I pulled into my driveway on my first day of summer and there was a new 4-Runner sitting there. My mom had traded in my car WITHOUT telling me and gotten her a new one. I was furious and I wanted a jeep. My dad said to give him a little while and we would get one. And here is where our story starts.
The 4-Runner that my mom purchased from the dealership near my home lasted about two weeks before it had to go back in the shop. They said they fixed it. She drove it and the day after she got it back and broke down on the side of the road. She sent it back to the dealership, got it back, and broke down on the side of the road again. They gave us a rental. The rental wouldn't start. We got the 4-Runner back. Broke down AGAIN the day before we were supposed to go on vacation. They gave us another rental. It broke down on the way home from Florida. You know that story. My mom got her car back again, and it broke down in the middle of the road. She narrowly avoided getting smashed by two cars. She decided she wasn't keeping it. We traded in her car and my car at the same time.
I got a really awesome '05 Jeep Wrangler. It had a 4" lift, subwoofers, 28,000 miles. It was incredible. I loved it so much. I had that fucking thing 17 hours. Let me repeat that. I had that Jeep 17 hours before I was riding down the road and had to pull over because the entire steering column was shaking like a fucking earthquake. It had what is called the "Death Wobble." We sent it back to the dealership. This was on a Saturday. Guess who fucking knew about it having the death wobble before they sold it to us? THEY DID. The guy that sold it to us played dumb and said he didn't know about it. Okay, whatever. They ordered the part. My jeep sat out there until Friday before they even looked at it. They said they ran into another problem and needed to get another part, but they would have that by Monday. Monday rolled around. They didn't buy the part because it was expensive. My dad went out and raised hell. They got around to working on it again and put smaller tires on it to see if that was part of the problem. Some low-life, son of a bitch, fucking MINDLESS MORON FORGOT TO TIGHTEN THE FUCKING LUGNUTS ON MY LEFT REAR WHEEL. They were test driving it and MY LEFT REAR WHEEL FELL OFF. IT FUCKING FELL THE FUCK OFF. THEY TURNED MY JEEP INTO A TRIPOD. I thought Ron White was kidding when he was telling that joke on stage, but apparently PEOPLE ACTUALLY FORGET TO TIGHTEN LUGNUTS. They drove 30 feet with my shocks driving the ground. My dad just so happened to be driving through town and see it sitting on the side of the road WITH THREE TIRES. He immediately warped his ass into the parking lot and told them he wasn't keeping it anymore. They gave him a 4 door jeep and said for us to look at it. It was a stock '07 with 40,000 miles on it. Nothing special. They wanted 26,000 for it. My cousin bought her '07 with bigger tires and chrome wheels BRAND NEW for a thousand more. So I have officially been carless for 13 days. I move into college on Tuesday. I don't know what I'm going to do, but if you guys hear a story about a car dealership and an arsonist don't say anything about me. I don't even know what to say. I hate them. I hate them so much. This has been the most unbelievable, ridiculous, shitty two weeks imaginable.
I'll let you guys know when I get a jeep. I expect it to be around December. Fuck car dealerships.
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